Alejandro F.'s Prostate is Making a Mess

As promised in the initial post about Alejandro F.'s prostate problem (click here to view) updates would be posted to this blog.  So here we are once again talking about that nasty prostate belonging to the once unknown spitter from Lowe's, Alejandro F.

I must apologize for taking so long to update everyone about this problem.  I know all of you have been on pins and needles.  While I take full responsibility for the delay I do have extenuating circumstances that were well within my physical control but apparently I wasn't up to the challenge mentally.

Of course I could blame the string algae but that seems so petty.  I'll just say if it wasn't for the string algae we would have been aware of Alejandro F.'s problem a lot sooner. 

Here is what happened:  Following Alejandro's hosectomy and reinsertion of the male receptacle into the female hose I didn't have an opportunity to actually see Alejandro doing what he was designed to do; that is, fill the pond. 

I was so enthused about being outside and the fair weather I decided I should also try to poison the string algae.  I wanted to do this before the spring pond creatures arrived because I hate poisoning the pond creatures.  So I blocked the overflow and pulled the plug on the pump.  After the water settled in each pond I added the carefully measured amount of Cutrine Algaecide to the bridge pond.  It wasn't until the next evening that I re-plugged the pump. 

Fast forward a couple of days.  The pond is starting to look like it's getting low in the water arena.  By the next day I'm sure there is something wrong with Alejandro F. 

I grabbed my kneeling pad and started to troubleshoot the lack of spit going into the pond.  I checked the hose and all connections to the valves... nothing.  Checked the breaker for the power... OK.  Then I checked the controller and saw that the display was blank!  I was sure the controller had died.  I decided to pull it out and order a new one and when I went to unplug it I found the problem... yep, it was unplugged.  Tsk, Tsk, Tsk 'ol Proctologist wannabe.  Ya know, sometimes it's the simplest things that slip under the radar.  I must have accidentally pulled the plug when I unplugged the pump.

So with Alejandro powered up I noticed that evening, while we were eating dinner, that he was working diligently at filling the pond... I didn't, however, look to see if he was leaking.... after all I was feed'n my face... a man has his priorities you know.

I'm somewhat ashamed to admit that it was at least a couple of days later when I noticed that when Alejandro F. was "working" he was also leaving an even bigger puddle than he was prior to his initial hosectomy.

I can tell you the problem appears to be a severe case of holey hose where it connects to Alejandro F.'s sticky-outie hose inserter deal.  Must have used a little bit too much heat.

So as soon as I return from the Tea Party Rally tomorrow I'll get right on the hosectomy... unless it rains or I forget.

Stay tuned... You'll hear about it at this very blog.

First Alajandro F. and Now the Bio-falls

I guess the title of this post is not accurate cuz Alajandro hasn't been around long enough to unpack his bags and the bio-falls has been here for over 5 years. In any case, they do have something in common. It's "drip... drip... drip..."

Of course this isn't a prostate problem as everyone knows that bio-falls, like hoses, don't have prostates. What the bio-falls has is a leak! This isn't just a run of the mill leak one might find in the bathroom sink... this leak is invisible and camouflaged. A navy seal or an army delta-force commando couldn't be better camouflaged than my bio-fall leak. 

This leak was, in my opinion, one of the worst kind to have. It dripped about 4 or 5 drops a second from 3 locations and all this was taking place behind rocks over a gravel bed, thus there was no tale-tale sign of water. 3X4 drops per second equates to around 1,036,800 drip drops per day (I can't make up my mind if they are drips or drops). There are about 15,400 drops in a gallon of water. Do the math and you have a leak that has wasted a bunch of water over the past 5 years.

So how did you come to find this gusher incognito, he asked?

Now that was a very, very astute question if I do say so myself. The answer, as most of the things I write about, isn't one of those pithy types of answers. Here goes:

I bought a new spitter. 

Having a new spitter requires one to plumb pressurized water to the spitter to enable the spitter to spit.  The closest pressurized water to the location of the spitter was the bio-falls.

It was a simple task to dig down to the water pipe that runs between the bio-falls and the pump, tap into the PVC pipe and run a hose from the tap to the spitter.

I did just that.  I dug down exposing the 2 inch pipe, cut it in half and glued in the "T" splice.  I then realized in order to get the pipe into the top of the "T" I would have to lift it up about 2 inches.  That wasn't a big deal I thought, so I removed a couple of flat stones that were hiding the pipe, lifted it and smeared on the glue and popped it into the "T"... easy. 

Then I noticed one of the stones was loose.  I wiggled it like a kid with a loose tooth and it fell onto the ground and then the stones above it fell onto the ground and then I saw the water dripping.  My immediate reaction was to dismiss the possibility of a leak and reasoned (rationalized) the water was from the recent rain.

Bio-falls viewed from the back.  Showing sight of the cave-in and special
rock to stop the dreaded flood of over 1 million drops of water/day.

I went to lunch.

After lunch I brought the boss out to take a look at my discovery.  Her message was short and to the point.  She said, "Humph, it's a leak," and left me to figure out the rest.

The first thing I did was stop the water from leaking.  To that end you will notice a stone stuck into the right corner of the bio-falls.  It's purpose is to hold the liner in an upright position and thus not allow the water to drip over the edge.  I'm of the opinion that the bio-falls has settled a bit in this corner allowing the water to rise too close to the edge.

Having to admit that it was in fact a leak I then felt it was just prudent to remove some more stones from around the top of the bio-falls to insure there were no other surprises. Of course there were no other leaks but if I hadn't checked you can bet there would have been.  Grok?

I've found in my travels, my trials and tribulations, many of my life experiences that it's a lot easier to take things apart than to put them together.  I am now left with the task of re-camouflaging the bio-falls.  Armed with yucky pucky, gloves and the frontier spirit I will persevere and make things one again... even better than original!  You can take that to the bank.

I'll report the outcome of this project in future posts.

Look! Up In The Sky! It's a Bird...

I should change the name of my street to Swooping Hawk.  Yesterday was, for the birds in the yard, like sailing on a sailboat.  Long periods of lackadaisical repose followed by intense periods of activity sometimes bordering on panic... sometimes?

I was sitting at my computer but really day-dreaming as I stared out the window.  Then all of the birds (I mean every last one) took flight and were going helter skelter (did you know the Beatles did a song named Helter Skelter back in 1968?).  Then, just seconds behind the panic-stricken exodus came a hawk diving from aloft at high speed.  He was moving fast!  The hawk was headed toward the ground at about a 60 degree angle, swooping near the ground in what appeared to me as in pursuit of a target i.e. breakfast.  One might wonder how his wings stay attached with such speed and steep turns.

A theme I've repeated a number of times in this blog:  Things happen so fast if your not lucky to be looking in the right direction you will miss the whole thing.  This event happened in less than 2 seconds from beginning to when the hawk was out of sight.

About an hour later the birds had returned.  Suddenly the panic and helter skelter exodus began anew followed by the hawk diving toward either breakfast or dessert.  Again it was over in a few seconds.

Following lunch the hawk was observed swooping down with repetitive panic ensuing.  This time he was here long enough to circle a tree in hot pursuit of a small sparrow like bird.

We still have not observed any of the hawks actually taking any prey.  From my perspective it would appear Joe was better at bird catching than the hawks we've seen.  I believe the hawks make a lot more visits than we've see and their hunt must be successful at times or they wouldn't be around.

These birds are magnificent.

This is NOT a picture from my backyard but it sure is a cool picture.

Alejandro F. Appears to Have a Prostate Problem!

One wouldn't think a spitter would not even have a prostate!  For a resin spitter in the form of a frog I would have thought it impossible.  Thus I was just dumbfounded yesterday when I happened to observe Alejandro F. doing his noon time duty... topping-off the pond water level.  Drip... Drip... Drip...  The frog is leaking!

The good news is he only leaks when performing the duties of a spitter.  The bad news is: I had to call in the Frog Spitter Proctologist... that would be me**.  It isn't a glamorous job nor is it one that many would admit even having.  Since losing all self esteem during my 30 years with IBM I am not shy about admitting to this thankless, unpleasant job.

I suppose I should insert the overused disclaimer here:  This blog may contain subject matter that some viewers may find disgusting and thus very interesting.  Viewer discretion is advised.

So I removed the 3/8 inch hose that had been inserted in Alejandro F.'s rear.  I observed that this immediately stopped his prostate from... well, leaking.  My immediate thought was the 3/8 inch hose has a prostate problem but of course this was foolish as everyone knows hoses don't have prostates.

Upon close examination of the point of contact where the hose connects to Alejandro F.'s rear I determined the male part of the connection did not fit completely into the female part of the hose.  While it first appeared to be a tight connection once the flow through the hose got up to pressure it was obvious that once again a spitter was not handling the pressure appropriately (see the post on Alejandro T. exploding under pressure: here).

I referred to my FSPM (Frog Spitter Proctologist's Manual) and after considerable research determined a hosectomy was necessary.  I secured my utility knife and executed the "ectomy" on the hose by cutting off about an inch.  Then I needed to apply the output of a device to increase the molecular activity of the hose via an incremental increase in the ambient temperature on the bitter end of that very same hose, i.e. I broke out my heat gun and warmed the hose.

With the hose appropriately warmed it slipped easily over the male receptacle of Alejandro F.  Funny how things appropriately warmed will sometimes do that don't you think?

Of course it's a bit early to call the operation a success.  According to the FSPM a sufficient amount of time must be given for observation and, if necessary, intervention before the operation is deemed a success.

If any intervention is necessary you will be able to read about it in this very blog... whoohoo!

** Have you noticed every time you call yourself you get a busy signal... well almost.  I happen to have call waiting so when I call myself I click the button thingy and try to connect to myself but of course I'm not there because I was just put on hold when I clicked the button thingy.  Kinda one of those catch 22 deals.  Can you hear me now?

Alejandro F. replaces Alejandro T.

What a difference 5 days can make.  On Monday it was raining and then snowing and here it is Saturday, the sun is shinning and the thermometer is reading 60... more or less.  So being all enthused about a little warm weather we went to Lowe's to see if they were having a little spring in their garden department.  They weren't.... the 'ol fuddy-duddy's.  I did, however, spy a spitter sitting on a shelf in a corner where it obviously spent the winter.  I needed a spitter to replace Alejandro T (as in turtle) so without any delay I snatched the spitter.  Still being enthused about the warm weather I hooked the new guy up and without hesitation I turned

on the water and set the sprinkler controller to manual... lo and behold he spits. 

Well WhooHoo boys and girls... that's what was supposed to happen!

Our newest addition to the backyard has been named Alejandro F (can ya guess what the F stands for?).

Like Alejandro T, he will "spit" 3 times a day to keep the pond water level at the prescribed setting. 

Our first event of the 2010 season is in the books.  I hope it's an exciting year. 

Thanks for stopping by...

Rain Rain Went Away... Snow is Here Again Today

Just yesterday the last of the snow from early December finally melted.  This morning it was raining and now the temperature is dropping and the rain has turned to snow.

The tulips are emerging as are the daffodils.  Spring will trump winter... it's just a matter of when.