Alejandro F. Appears to Have a Prostate Problem!

One wouldn't think a spitter would not even have a prostate!  For a resin spitter in the form of a frog I would have thought it impossible.  Thus I was just dumbfounded yesterday when I happened to observe Alejandro F. doing his noon time duty... topping-off the pond water level.  Drip... Drip... Drip...  The frog is leaking!

The good news is he only leaks when performing the duties of a spitter.  The bad news is: I had to call in the Frog Spitter Proctologist... that would be me**.  It isn't a glamorous job nor is it one that many would admit even having.  Since losing all self esteem during my 30 years with IBM I am not shy about admitting to this thankless, unpleasant job.

I suppose I should insert the overused disclaimer here:  This blog may contain subject matter that some viewers may find disgusting and thus very interesting.  Viewer discretion is advised.

So I removed the 3/8 inch hose that had been inserted in Alejandro F.'s rear.  I observed that this immediately stopped his prostate from... well, leaking.  My immediate thought was the 3/8 inch hose has a prostate problem but of course this was foolish as everyone knows hoses don't have prostates.

Upon close examination of the point of contact where the hose connects to Alejandro F.'s rear I determined the male part of the connection did not fit completely into the female part of the hose.  While it first appeared to be a tight connection once the flow through the hose got up to pressure it was obvious that once again a spitter was not handling the pressure appropriately (see the post on Alejandro T. exploding under pressure: here).

I referred to my FSPM (Frog Spitter Proctologist's Manual) and after considerable research determined a hosectomy was necessary.  I secured my utility knife and executed the "ectomy" on the hose by cutting off about an inch.  Then I needed to apply the output of a device to increase the molecular activity of the hose via an incremental increase in the ambient temperature on the bitter end of that very same hose, i.e. I broke out my heat gun and warmed the hose.

With the hose appropriately warmed it slipped easily over the male receptacle of Alejandro F.  Funny how things appropriately warmed will sometimes do that don't you think?

Of course it's a bit early to call the operation a success.  According to the FSPM a sufficient amount of time must be given for observation and, if necessary, intervention before the operation is deemed a success.

If any intervention is necessary you will be able to read about it in this very blog... whoohoo!

** Have you noticed every time you call yourself you get a busy signal... well almost.  I happen to have call waiting so when I call myself I click the button thingy and try to connect to myself but of course I'm not there because I was just put on hold when I clicked the button thingy.  Kinda one of those catch 22 deals.  Can you hear me now?