Icing on the pond

I stood by the window looking at the backyard.  It looks cold... according to my thermometer it was cold. There was ice on the pond. 

My mind drifted to Leo the leopard frog.  We first met Leo in the early fall.  As with most creatures he just showed up one day.  As the weather cooled it became obvious that Leo was looking for a place to spend the winter.  He started nesting in a flower pot that was half submerged in the pond but after a week or so he gave that up and we found him in our raised garden.  I guess he didn’t like that either as he was later found under a rock near the waterfall I call Joe’s Station.

This is Leo the Leopard Frog.

As we prepared for the coming winter we seemed to scare Leo from his winter haven enough times that we thought he had moved to another yard as he was no where to be found. 

One fall day I was cleaning the pond.  My task this particular day was to remove string algae that was growing under the waterfalls.  I stopped the flow of water and then with a trash bucket, bottle of diluted bleach, scrub brush and knee pads I got to the task at hand.  I would remove the bulk of the algae by hand and then spray the remaining algae with the bleach solution only using the scrub brush for particularly stubborn Algae Klingons (aren’t all Klingons stubborn?).

I was just about finished and was spraying the bleach solution on the rocks to zap any algae I had not seen… the is a common military tactic when you can’t see the enemy.  Just spray the area with bullets, in my case the bullets were the bleach solution. 

I was spraying away without a care in the world when much to my surprise out came Leo from under one of the waterfall flat-stones.  He didn’t crawl out in typical frog fashion.  No sir, he came out of there like he was being chased by frog dogs (similar to pit bulls).  Now, if your not familiar with bejesus your lucky.  I’m sorry to report that I’m all too familiar with bejesus as I get it scared out of me at least 3 times a year… sometimes more than that.  I’m surprised I even have any bejesus left inside me!  This was one of those bejesus moments. 

Everyone has experienced bejesus moments.  Something happens and you jump and/or do a dance and/or scream and/or wet your pants… all this in the instant before you realize your not going to die.  Then you immediately look around to see if anyone saw you in your bejesus expulsion moment.  Then you can’t help but laugh at yourself.  I’ve actually laughed so hard at times I’ve fallen to the ground… partly because I did such a dopey thing and partly because I didn’t really die.

I can’t accurately tell you what all I did in this particular bejesus moment.  I did jump.  I did gasp.  I did drop my bleach bottle (it floated).  I did say a dirty word.  I did look to see if anyone saw me having a bejesus expulsion moment on the rocks.  I did laugh at myself.

Apparently I sprayed poor Leo with the bleach solution and that must have stung.  I would have undone the dirty deed if I could but once done…

Leo swam around the skimmer pond for a few minutes and then crawled under Alejandro F’s rock to wait for me to get away from his pond.

Not long after I left I saw Leo crawl back between some flat-stones under the waterfall. 

So as I stood at the window looking at the backyard I got to thinking about Leo and hope’n his winter sleep was going well.  That his antifreeze was working OK.  I pictured this frozen leopard frog safely tucked under the rocks waiting for the spring thaw.  It’s another one of nature’s amazing feats.  Frogs will freeze solid and then emerge unharmed when they thaw out.  Isn’t that just so cool? 

That’s what I was thinking about as I gazed out the window and saw ice on the pond.  It brought a smile to my face.

Whoohoo!!

Thanksgiving

About 10 years ago, when living on the Texas coast, we joined our neighbors for the traditional thanksgiving turkey.  It was a block party type of thing and our neighbor had cooked 2 huge turkeys.  The problem I have with thanksgiving is I hate turkey!  It seems almost un-American to admit I can’t stand the bird, but it is what it is.  In an effort not to offend our neighbor who had worked so very hard in preparing the birds I accepted a helping of turkey.  For me the good news was there were more of us for the thanksgiving feast than there were chairs at the table so I was able to move out to the deck with my meal.  The deck was adjacent the intercostal waterway.  I decided the best way to dispose of the huge helping of turkey was, rather than eat it, feed it to the fish.  When I had the opportunity I tossed the turkey over the rail into the water.  Apparently the seagulls noticed and considered it a thanksgiving offering.  First one swooped down to pluck a small piece of meat from the water.  Then another and another.  Then every seagull for 50 miles seemed to join in the celebration.  The seagulls were loving their thanksgiving meal so much they started squawking and jabbering and generally making a hell of a racket.  Then the dog next door started barking and making a ruckus.  Within minutes there were gulls sitting on the roof of the house, the deck railing, the deck furniture and flying about… these guys were everywhere.

The noise and commotion attracted the attention of our host and hostess and they came to the deck to see what was going on.  Seeing some turkey floating in the water it was quite obvious what had attracted the gulls.  The host asked who lost their turkey.  I felt obliged to step up to the yokelish behavior.  I told them I tripped on the deck and part of my meal, the turkey, fell into the water.

The host and hostess, being well mannered, inquired if I was hurt while looking me in the eye to see if I was on drugs or possibly drunk.  I assured them I was fine and they returned to the house.  The hostess came back on the deck moments later with a plate of turkey and proceeded to refill my plate with a new helping.  Geez, now what was I going to do?

I pondered my dilemma surrounded by seagulls that were just waiting for an opportunity for seconds.  Hundreds of beady black eyes were watching my every move.  I started second guessing myself wondering why I didn’t just fess up to not liking turkey.  It seemed too late to do that now since I was already on my second helping.

I decided to try the obvious and eat some of the turkey.  I took a bite.  Aw man, this was terrible.  It was dry and it tasted like… like turkey.  Ugh, what to do.  In desperation I decided to “doctor” the turkey and went into the house and found some gravy.  I ladled a healthy serving onto the turkey and returned to the deck.  I started to take another bite when I noticed these chunks of stuff in the gravy.  Aw man, giblets.  This was getting sickening.  I was doubting that even the seagulls would eat this.  NOW what was I going to do?

I decided the problem was not insurmountable and to resolve this issue without actually eating the turkey would require a little planning and stealth.  I needed to think.  I thought what I needed was a dog.  Considering the amount of turkey on my plate I might possibly need more than one… Chihuahua's need not apply.  I sauntered over to the fence and leaned against it with my plate in hand.  I sampled the potatoes and picked at the cranberry sauce.  I tapped the fence with the heal of my shoe to see if I could attract the dog that lived next door, hopefully he was still in the yard.  A few moments later my ears heard the dog sniffing at the fence.  I turned to face the fence and scooped the turkey from my plate and over the fence it went.  Immediately the seagulls took flight and the dog started barking again.  I’m thinking a barking dog isn’t eating turkey slathered in giblet gravy.  I’m also thinking I needed to do something about my hand with gravy dripping from it and I was making a small mess on the deck.  Where was my napkin?
 
I couldn’t see over the fence but I could clearly hear the dog barking as it obviously ran around the yard chasing away the invading seagulls.  The ruckus decibel level rose higher and higher and I just stood there with a gravy dripping from my hand wishing, praying the noise would stop. 

Enter the host and hostess.  They once again are trying to see what is making such a ruckus on the deck.  I stuck my gravy hand behind my back, my foot over the drips on the deck and casually leaned against the fence.  Seeing the commotion was next door their interest waned.  They inquired of me if I had any idea what was going on in their neighbors yard.  I told them I didn’t know but maybe the birds discovered the dog food and were helping themselves.  They agreed that could be the cause and excused themselves and returned to the house.  I don’t think they believed me.

The calamity didn’t continue for much longer and once the turkey was eaten (an assumption on my part) the birds as well as the dog were quiet but still watching for seconds… or thirds if you will.

I found a faucet and rinsed off my gravy hand and went into the house, disposed of my now mostly clean plate, and joined the others.  I took a seat on the couch and was watching football on television.  After a while I got up to find something to drink and to my horror I saw a splotch of gravy on the couch… right where I had been sitting.  Aw Geez, when I hid my hand behind my back over by the fence I must have got gravy all over my pants.  Now what was I going to do?

The stress was about to give me a heart attack.  Twice I was nearly caught dumping that awful turkey and now I had left a gravy stain on their couch and I knew I had to have gravy on my backside.  Oh if I had only declined the turkey and been honest from the get-go.

Well, no one was paying attention to me so I once again sauntered out to the deck but this time I just kept sauntering and walked around the house, down the street and into my own place.  I closed the door behind me and locked it.  I removed my pants and shirt.  I put on comfortable shorts and a t-shirt, then fixed me a peanut butter sandwich and read a book.

This year, I considered fixing the birds that frequent our yard some turkey and giblet gravy as a reminder to myself what happens when you try to fit in with the crowd… that is the turkey eating crowd.  Then it dawned on me that these were not seagulls in our yard and they would probably just enjoy some extra seed.  They wouldn’t even pretend to eat turkey.  They got seed and I’m having steak.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!  Whoohoo.

What Ever Happened to What’s-his-name?

One or both of my blog fans may have noticed that I’ve been away from the grind of writing about frogs, toads, birds and what other things may pass even close to my mind… sometimes resulting is a grazing wound and sometimes a direct hit.  Usually a complete miss.  Back to the point at hand, what ever happed to what’s-his-name? You know, that really hilarious guy who authors this blog?

Not to worry my fan or other fan.  I’m back.  That’s the good news and the bad news is winter is creap’n in the back door like a drunk husband at 3 in the morning.  Quietly but not that quietly.  The point being is we all know that with short days and freezing temperatures the only pond news worth a read is usually a disaster of some sort.

I’m just going to make a few administrative announcements here and then I’ll retire to silly computer games.

The guy who owned the local pond store, The Lily Pad, has gone out of business.  I’m really sorry to see him go as he was a straight shooter for the most part although a bit over priced.  On the other hand, I do feel some blame on his going out of business.  That would be all the free pumps I’ve got from him.  Until my current pump none have lasted more than about 12 months.  When you buy a pump with a 2 year replacement warranty you expect those pumps to last 2 years and 1 day.  The ones I got didn’t last half that time and so I got a new pump every year… that can’t be good for business.  My current pump is just over a year old and I’m getting nervous that it will last the 2 years and 1 day and thus recoup all lost money in one fell swoop.  He also would be jumping for joy to know that the 10,000/hour pump has not moved this winter and may be dead but I haven’t drained the skimmer pond to service it… maybe in the spring.  So here’s to you Lily Pad Jim, you’ve been replace by a tattoo parlor.

The other reason I’ve been away is I took a trip to Minnesota.  I know most of you think that is a very small coke or pepsi but it is in fact one of the states of this here United States.  It is the 32nd state and been that since 1858.  A fact you may not be aware of is Minnesota has the northern most land in the US not counting Alaska.  I know you don’t believe that but check it out (Lake of the Woods, MN).

I was in Minnesota as a caregiver for my son who is at the Mayo Clinic for a triple transplant – heart, liver and kidney.  He has not had the transplant yet but we are hopeful that organs will become available (a tragedy for some other family) soon and he will be made whole again.  When this happens he will be the 10th person in the USA to receive this type of transplant.

Upon my return to Colorado to supervise ‘Ol Man Winter’s arrival  I was given the exciting news that a Sharp-shinned Hawk as been making frequent visits to our yard and was observed actually chasing birds into and out of the trees.  I of course missed the action.  Rest assured I’m on watch now and if any hawks made an entrance I will report it in the very blog.

While this post isn’t particularly funny or enlightening and not even a picture it has served it’s purpose to let you know I’m here and back on the job.

Whoohoo y’all