Today We're Froze

To think it was 80 degrees just 3 days ago.  Next day the wind blew.  Yesterday the snow fell.  Today it's freezing the bejesus out of our plants.  Let's recap; wind blew, snow fell, winter is back and it's cold...

With the prediction of a hard freeze we didn't just lay on the floor doing the kicking and screaming tantrum thing.  We drained the irrigation lines, we hauled in potted plants, we covered what we couldn't move inside.  We were even creative in the covering arena as Ginger used the trash cans to cover the large pots that are too heavy to move.  If this cold spell doesn't get over itself pretty fast I'll have to buy more trash cans so we'll have a place for trash.

I hope the plants aren't put off by the social impact on their impressionable minds by being plunged into darkness by a smelly trash can.  I can hear the plant whining now... "Mommy, Mommy, it's dark in here and it smells tooooo."  Mommy Nature replies, "Shut up plant or I'll cover you with snow and burn you with freezing cold!"  Meekly the plant replies, "OK Mommy, I'll be quiet... but it does smell a little." 

Plants, you just can't make 'em happy.  The Lord knows we try.  But bust your buns day in and day out and all the plants do is complain... it's too dark... it's smelly in this trash can... there are bugs eating parts of me... ow, you stepped on me... you expect me to grow in THAT?... I'm thirsty... it just goes on and on and on.  I don't know how much longer we can keep this up.

Just the other day I had to give annual a good talking to.  That plant will never grow up to be like his brother perennial.  I swear annual is the runt of the litter and probably will only live to be a year old or so... just doesn't have what it takes to be like his big brother perennial.  And who gives you all the grief and costs you the most money?  Yep, it's annual every time.  If I had a nickle for every time annual whined about something I'd be a rich man today.  You don't hear much from perennial... that plant is a role model for the whole garden.

So where was I?  Oh yea, it froze last night.  The official forecast low temperature was shoot'n for 27 which would beat the record of 28 for this date and that record was set in 1909 as in 99 years ago today.  How 'bout that plant fans.  The big freeze didn't happen.  As I've said before, we call the weather man the designated liar.  The actual and now official low was 31.  As is usual, it was a bit warmer at our place as we live on a hill so the cold doesn't settle around our ankles it just slides on down the hill into the depths of the valley.  Our low temperature at Red Tail Ridge was a balmy 34. 

We aren't put out by the "unevent" as a hard freeze this late in the spring will devastate the local cherry, peach, apricot and pineapple crops. 

Maybe it will get down to 27 tonight so the designated liar can feel redeemed.  Nah!

Whoohoo

Today it Snow's

I was really being facetious when I suggested it might snow.   Well silly me.

Waking this morning to the sight of snow was a big surprise... not so much that it snowed but because the weatherman on TV predicted snow!  WOW... right once in a row!

The snow wasn't sticking to the rocks but the poor flowers and some of the new trees were not happy about this super wet spring snow.  The forecast for tomorrow morning is brrrr cold 27.  I'll be blowing out the sprinklers once again.  At least the wind has stopped... yep, I knew there was a pony in here somewhere.

Whoohoo

Today Blows!

It's another windy day in the Grand Valley.  In the video below I tired to catch the wind blowing the water around.  It doesn't show how hard the wind is actually blowing but if you close your eyes and watch the video, listen to the silence and imagine a wind storm blowing through an oasis in the desert while a herd of water buffalo stampede across the dunes you might, just might, get a feel for how hard the wind is blowing.

The wind is a precursor to the spring storm headed in from the Pacific coast. By Friday morning the low is forecast to be 27 degrees as it brrrr cold. The plants are going to be unhappy. Maybe we'll get snow!

Howdy! I'm from Dry Rock, Colorado

I am proud to report the number of fans of the Frog-Blog has doubled... I now have 2.  Both confirmed by comments.  I may actually have a 3rd fan but that person may have fat fingered this web address so I'll have to wait to see if they come back.  A one time read hardly counts as a fan.

Regardless of the number of fans, if it's 3 a majority of them have encouraged me to move on and leave poor Alejandro F. to deal with his privates business privately (for those of you from Lafayette, Colorado that means at least 2 fans want to move on).  I have taken their suggestions to heart and we are moving forward to other things.

Before I move to other topics that may just turn out to be interesting as well as exciting, leaving you with baited breath (frogs and toads love that smell) I've just one thing to say:

To quote our hero Alejandro F., "Howdy, I'm from Dry Rock, Colorado!"  I guess the radical hosectomy worked...

Lip~Lips... The Sign of Spring

There is no better sign of spring than when the lip-lips practically leap from the ground.  It is amazing how fast these colorful beauties appear and before you know it they are gone.  As the short lived lip-lip petals peel out from their buds it's like a call to the wind gods to crank-it-up.  When I was a youngster there used to be a saying about "March winds and April showers."  Where I'm living now that saying should read "March winds and April winds blow harder."  Each year some lip-lips lose their petals to the steely wind... a wind that would be called a gale or even a hurricane on the ocean shore.  So far the petals have hung on with only minor damage.  Since their days are numbered I thought I would share just a few pictures of the spring show-offs I call lip-lips.

Whoohoo!

Pot Trellis Replanted and Beautiful

I love it when a plan comes together.  When I built the pot trellis, my first and only so far, it was a complete success.  I introduced the pot trellis last year (click here to see that post).

 

 

We have also planted flowers, ground cover and various vines in the ground under the pot trellis.  The vines we hope will eventually grow and cover some of the yellow trellis but for some reason we have black thumbs when it comes to growing vines.  The flowers and ground cover will be a haven for this years batch of toads when they transition from legless toadlets to miniature clones of their parents.

I'm excited just thinking about it.

Stay tuned for some pictures of the lip-lips that are just beautiful too.

I hope my my friend Over-the-hill-Teri got around to building her pot trellis so we can compare.

Whoohoo!

Radical Hosectomy!Will it be the last of the season?

The "ectomy" to end all "ectomies" could have been the headline for this post.  The problem with doing that is one would then run the very real risk of having to eat their words of boast.  I'll tell you I like boast as good as the next guy but think the boasts taste better with butter or jam than with crow.

With luck, because skill obviously isn't present, Alejandro F. will once again have a dry rock to perch on while soaking in the rays before it's time for him to jump into action and fill the pond.  The latest "HOSEectomy" didn't last very long.  The hose split just like on previous occasions plus I'm getting a lot of practice in this arena.

I decided to give up on the F.S.P.M. and attack the problem using all the logic I could muster.  After a great deal of deliberation, forethought, circumspection and reflection I decided the hose had to go.  I believe if we keep messing with Alejandro F.'s SMAGSOT it too will wind up in the same trash bin as his BSTOT.

To this end I took the trek to the Lowe's Hosectomy Supply Store to find a replacement hose.  They didn't have what I wanted to I headed to Home Depot and they had just the thing, a black vinyl 3/8 ID hose and it was cheap too.  I bought it.

I'm happy to report this morning I performed the "radical hosectomy."  A new 10 foot length of hose, that is much more flexible than the previous tubing, has been implanted and clamped in place.  I believe the operation was a success since Alejandro F. didn't croak.

Of course it will take a few days of observation to confirm there are no leaks.

NICE JOB Dr. Watson!

Whoohoo...

Poor Alejandro F., He Lost His BSTOT!

It pains me to tell this story.

Our hero of the hour has again bared all for his third time on the now infamous "ECTOMY" table.  As reported a few days ago, Alejandro F. was once again leaking allover his rock.  It wasn't pretty to watch but bear in mind it wasn't his fault.  He couldn't control the way the hose was connected to his little sticky outie thingie. 

While I'm sure it bothered me much more than it bothered Alejandro F. I once again approached him from the rear to inspect the connection between his male part fitting into the female hose.  It didn't require an in-depth study to spot the problem.  The female hose part had split.  The hose had a slit right down the side allowing water to escape via that very same slit.

Since previous attempts to repair this problem using the tried and true "hosectomy" procedure, it was obvious that was not appropriate in this case.  Either Alejandro F.'s thingie was too big or the hose was too small. It's always something.  As mentioned in the previous post I was planning either a Modified Hosectomy or the much more drastic procedure, a Transplant.

After returning from the local Lowe's Hosectomy Supply Store with various couplings, reducers, brass fittings and various sized tubes I set about what I hoped was going to be the final and lasting repair to the now tender connection between Alejandro F.'s black stickie outie thingie (BSTOT) and the wayward hose that liked to split whenever the pressure was on.

After performing what has become the routine "hosectomy" I attached the various pieces and parts described above.  I slipped the new 1/2 inch hose over Alejandro F.'s BSTOT and slide the hose clamp into position.  I tightened the clamp.  And folks, this is the part I hate... this really hurts, Alejandro F.'s black male stickie outie thingie, his BSTOT I'm tell'n you, broke off his body?  OMG!  What have I done?  Just when I had invented a neat acronym.  Damn, I hate it when that happens.

Shown is the "ectomied" remains of Alejandro F.'s
BSTOT and the hose with split.

After having time to reflect, I realized that in one turn of the screwdriver I had moved from a modified hosectomy to a transplant.  I prefer to call it a circumcision or peritomy.  Heck, I didn't even know Alejandro F. was Jewish. 

Once his BSTOT was removed I then had a real Archimedes EUREKA moment.  The small greenish colored stickie outie thingie (SMAGSOT) that the BSTOT was glued to was exactly the right size of the hose prior to attaching all the various and sundry brass parts with reducers and couplings.

I set about removing all those recently assembled parts to restore the original hose to it's virgin state, so to speak.  Then I slipped the hose onto the SMAGSOT and it was a perfect fit.  Snug but not too tight... just the way I like it.

So Frog Blog Fans, once again I'm confident that Alejandro F. is repaired permanently and so far has performed his duties twice without leaking all over his rock.  It just doesn't get any better than this as I can now return my $8.80 purchase to Lowe's Hosectomy Supply Store for a full refund... oh yea, Alejandro is happy too.

Whoohoo!

A Couple of Old Friends Dropped In

It was May of 2009, as I recollect, when Daddy Duck and Mama Mallard first stopped by for a visit (posted here).  Their last visit, until now, was later in 2009 when I was cleaning out the skimmer pond, bent over and shoveling muck.  Just about the time I stood up was when they were about 10 feet from landing in Joe's Pond.  My sudden appearance scared the bejesus out of 'em and we never saw them again until just this morning.

They inspected the Bridge Pond, Joe's Pond and the Skimmer Pond before returning to the bridge pond for a refreshing bath and splash.  They took a leisurely swim around and then it was time to move on.

It was nice to renew an old aquantience... they were looking fit and ready for make'n more ducklings. 

If you recall (you have to read the blog to recall) it was this Mallard couple that prompted me to solve the age old question:  What came first, the duck or the egg.

Checking out the Skimmer Pond

Daddy Duck in Joe's Pond

Mama Mallard on Joe's Falls washing her feet (Warm hands, cold
heart, dirty feet, no sweetheart) ;-)

Just When You Thought It Was Safe

I am sorry to report that Alejandro F. hasn't seen the last of his "ectomies."  That's right ladies and gentlemen, the boy is leak'n all over his rock again.  For sure it isn't his fault but, none-the-less, that rock be very wet before Alejandro F. has just more than started his pond filling duties.

While I haven't decided on a specific remedy, it seems obvious that the basic hosectomy hasn't "cut it," so to speak.  I'm seriously considering a rather radical procedure this next time around. 

Can you say "transplant" boys and girls?  I'm thinking it's going to have to be something different than the twice tried hosectomy and the transplant was the first to come to mind.  Second thing on my mind is a modified hosectomy.

First the Modified Hosectomy (M.H.P.) idea:  This would be a procedure where I would take what I call a transition hose with a 1/2 inch inside diameter, insert that onto Alejandro F.'s sticky outie thing and then use a reducer to bridge the 1/2 inch diameter hose down to a 3/8 friendly connection which just happens to be the size of the plastic tubing. 

Of course the only issue I can think of that might be a show stopper for this procedure is the availability of the reducer.  I'm sure they make a size increaser from 3/8 to 1/2 inch but don't know if I can find a reducer from 1/2 inch to 3/8 inch.  You can be assured I will leave no stone unturned in my search for the reducer.

Now the Transplant Procedure idea:  The transplant procedure will require me to remove Alejandro F.'s sticky outie thing and a.) alter it to accept a 3/8 inch plastic tube or b.) replace it with a similar thingie that will work.  Not an elegant solution but one does not always know what options they will have to deliver an acceptable outcome.

I'll have to refer to the FSPM once again to see if the "modified hosectomy" is covered.  I expect I'll have to search the internet for a FSTPM (Frog Spitter Transplant Procedure Manual) if the M.H.P. reducer isn't available.

I'm currently on light duty as a result of some minor surgery to my hand so it will probably be a few days before anything of note happens.

Of course you can read about it in this very Frog Blog... soon. 

Whoohoo!

Proctologist vs. Urologist

In reference to the recent posts concerning Alejandro F.'s hosectomy; I've been told the type of doctor that takes care of prostate problems is a Urologist and not a Proctologist although I doubt if either would actually take on the disgusting job chronicled in these aforementioned posts.  I do believe the constructive criticism was accurate. 

I did take the time to re-educate myself on the area's of expertise in these areas of medicine.  Written in the sacred dictionary is the following:

Proctology:  The branch of medicine that deals with the diagnosis and treatment of disorders affecting the colon, rectum, and anus.

Urology: The branch of medicine that deals with the diagnosis and treatment of diseases of the urinary tract and urogenital system.

I guess the reason I got confused was the time I went to a Proctologist he put a thing called a sigmoidoscope right up there where the sun don't shine.  Then when I was at the Urologist I guess he couldn't find his sigmoidoscope so he just used his finger.  I can't imagine why I would get confused about who does what!  Heck, it's not like I can see what they're doing back there (thank my lucky stars).

So PLEASE accept my humble apology for using the wrong doctor to perform Alejandro F.'s hosectomy.  It wasn't intentional. 

Click for the: Proctologist Song         

By the way, the hosectomy and re-attachment procedure was a complete success.  Not a drop of water to be seen so far with 3 observation sessions to date.  I love it when a plan comes together.

De-hosed and Re-hosed

I was thinking that maybe Alejandro F. might appreciate a nickname.  Of course I'm anxious for input from my blog reader but just in case I don't get any suggestions I'll put forth one for consideration.  How does "Hoser" sound?

When I was a young and careless school kid calling someone Hoser could be considered a compliment or a put-down depending on who was saying it and the context the term referred.  Use your imagination if the use of the name doesn't just jump up and bit you in the... face.

Today was the hosectomy for Alejandro F.'s (aka Hoser) Andy Warhol moment.  There isn't a lot to say about the procedure as it is pretty straight forward.  Reminds me of when I went to the Samari Weight Loss Clinic and they asked, "How much you want lose?"  I told them and "WHACK," just like that I had lost 25 pounds... of course I've walked with a limp ever since.  Anyway, I studied the FSPM (Frog Spitter Proctologist's Manual) throughly until the wee hours of Saturday night.  I certainly don't want to this procedure to be required again as that would certainly cast dark shadows on the capabilities of the Frog Spitter Proctologist.

So with the following disclaimer I'll just present the pictures that are worth much more than a mere one-thousand words.

Disclaimer: Don't look Gertrude!  Oops, too late.

Prepped for surgery our patient rests peacefully in the
supine position.

The delicate portion of the hosectomy (in progress).

The hosectomy is almost complete.  Just the "stub" needs

to be removed and then re-hosing will commence.

Completely de-hosed Alejandro lies exposed.  Not to worry
though, he is not feeling a thing.

Just prior to the final step of re-hosing.  Note Alejandro

is now in the prone position so the hose will not be

kinked when rotated 180 degrees. 

The hosectomy and re-hosing procedures have now been
completed.  Once the sealant dries no one will be able to

tell that Alejandro has ever had a hosectomy.

With the hosectomy and re-hosing complete I can now turn my attentions to Easter Sunday.  I have hidden confetti eggs around the backyard in hopes that some kid will stop by to check if the Easter Bunny (still working... bong, bong, bong) left any eggs in our yard.  Wouldn't want to spoil anyones bunny beliefs.

The real fun about hiding Easter eggs is when you get old like my mind you can never find all of them.  Everyday is an Easter egg hunt.  Then of course there are the times I do find them all but just couldn't remember how many I hid.  Everyday is an Easter egg hunt.

Whoohoo!

Easter Hosectomy

Some might think it a terrible thing to do on Easter.  Of all the days one could select for a hosectomy, Easter could just possibly be the worst day of the year. 

I would have done it sooner but since my last post the rain as rained down.  The snow has snowed down.  The wind hasn't wound down... in fact we're still battling the tumble weeds that roll down the hill behind the subdivision.  It's been a "down" week... so to speak.

Easter will be the day for the hosectomy.  I just can't put it off any longer.  Probably the only thing that has kept the hose from rupture is I had to turn off the water to Alejandro F. for a few days because of freezing weather.

I have, however, secured some photos of Alejandro F.... well... take'n a leak.

Disclaimer: Once again viewer discretion is advised.  The following pictures are graphic and disgusting and contain pictures of Alejandro F.'s male part inserted into the soon to be ectomied female hose part.  Don't look at these pictures unless your a pervert.  If your a member of PETA you are forbidden to look at these graphic pictures.

Consider yourself warned!

If you look at the business end of Alejandro F. you will see water squirting out at odd
angles.  Note the wet stone and surrounding area... it isn't raining here folks.

Try to pull your eyes from Alejandro F.'s anatomy and take a look at the squirting water.  As you can clearly see
a hosectomy is definitely needed.  Plan B might be "depends" but I'm saving them for my near future!

This concludes the biology lesson for the day.  I will report back in this very blog the results of the hosectomy once I've had an opportunity to observe and see of any intervention is required (again!).

Whoohoo!