Vegtable Toad

The silent toad was gone for 4 or 5 days but has returned.  This guy reminds me of a pickle.  He is green, bumpy and doesn't do much.  Have you ever seen a pickle do anything?  I sure haven't and that's exactly what this toad is doing... nothing. 

Unless his brother who lives at the Playboy Mansion comes by and gives his pickle look'n sibling a few pointers we can just forget any toadlets blessing the pond this season.

Maybe he's got a trick or two up his green sleeves (they should make a song titled that) to entice a green damsel to let him have his way with her but the enticement will have to be on a par of put'n a man on the moon.

Maybe I can order some toadlets on the internet...  now that's a thought.  Not a very good one, but a thought.

Whoohoo

Papa-Oom-Mow-Mow, Hypertufa-Wow-Wow

"Papa-Oom-Mow-Mow" is a 1962 novelty nonsensical doo-wop song by The Rivingtons. If you don't know what doo-wap is then your probably very young and inexperienced in the ways of the world. Right, sure, anything you say 'ol man. OK I admit 1962 was 48 years ago... To me that seems like just last week. I was about 14 and invincible, had my first job at $0.93/hr, ready to move up a grade in school. Life was sweet (I can't help myself but to say, if I only knew then what I know now).

So why bring up doo-wap and that dopey titled song? Because, grasshopper (another reference to times of pre-gray hair) I wanted to tell about my new hypertufa pot, not trough, and was trying to be a little entertaining. Can you say that again? I didn't quite hear you. I said, little is right... very little in the entertainment genre.

OK, I'll quit B.S.'n and just put up the pictures.

Note the face and the little guy seems to be wearing a hat.

From this angle you can see he also has rocks in his head.

I was trying to explain to my granddaughter that you can't always get things right the first time you try to make something.  Sometimes you have go keep trying and then you will get better and better each time you try.  She gave me the look!

My next hypertufa creation will be in color...  Stay tuned boys and girls.

Whoohoo!

Maybe He Is Confused...Mosquito Control Visit

Who may be confused you ask... I'm referring to the toad that moved in. 

He appeared to have the manner of the strong, silent type in that he could be seen, hard to scare and very quiet.  I was thinking that maybe he was a juvenile and too young to mate and too stupid to hide (probably never heard of blue herons).  Of course it's really hard to mate when there is only one of you.  God knows I've had my turn in that situation... but this isn't the forum for that story.  Anyway, this toad was silent. 

Then all of a sudden at dusk he started croaking and color me orange like the great pumpkin if he didn't croak all night.  Yea... that's more like it, I thought.  Call those sweet green darlings to your wet haven.  He croaked for 3 nights in a row, starting at dusk and only stopping when the horizon got light and then back to the silent treatment.

We haven't seen any potential mates or any other toads at all.  I guess on top of being the strong, silent type he is also a loner.  So while I was really thinking we would have a batch of toadlets this year it's not looking so good now.  There is still time!  I know there's a pony in here somewhere.  If you know any homeless toads... send 'em on over.

An interesting aside:  The Grand River Mosquito Control lady came to my door on Monday... actually it was my garage door as I was futzing in the garage.  She asked if I would allow her to check out my pond for mosquito's.  I told her if she could put up with my stories about having a pond she was welcome to come and look, sit, check, have coffee any 'ol time she wanted.  She passed on the coffee and having a seat but was stuck listening to me.  She did scoop some water into her official white cup-on-a-stick and inspected and detected.  I have been officially declared a mosquito free zone.

I'm here to tell you those damn skeeters might not be growing up in my pond but they sure are stopping buy for meals as my arms, legs and neck can attest.

So that's the latest from Red Tail Ridge...  Whoohoo

Beauty... In the Eye of the Beholder

They are beautiful to me.   Of course I'm a bit prejudice since it was my idea to add some color.  OK, a lot prejudice.

I'm referring to the diamond shaped  "windows" with the stained glass panes (before you say it, yes, if turned 45 degrees they would be square windows).

When the sun shines upon them from the front or rear they will be even more beautiful, as if that's possible.  I realize, of course, that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I not only made these stunning works of art I am also the beholder of same. 

I'm not sure how I came about the idea of hanging some stained glass in the pergola.  I like the way it looks.

Whoohoo!

Half a Toad Couple

Yesterday we were visited by a Woodhouse's Toad (AKA Rocky Mountain Toad).   I was thinking the toads were not going to show up this year... Whew!  Now we have half a couple.  I haven't heard any evening serenade's but since I've only spotted a single toad maybe there isn't anyone to try and woo or a rival to bluster.  I'll try and be patient.

This toad showed up about a month later than the toads did last year.  The reason might possibly be the very cold winter, the colder than usual spring or both.  Whatever the reason at least now we have a hope we may have toadlets by July or August.

Aren't y'all excited?

Whoohoo...

Hypertufa

Have you ever heard of hypertufa (pronounced hyper-toofa)? If you have then your ahead of most folks however for those of you who answered no or yes I'm going to tell you a little about it.

First, hypertufa is intended as a manufactured substitute for natural tufa, which is a slowly precipitated limestone rock; being very porous, it is favorable for plant growth. Got that jewel of information from wikipedia.

Now the common definition: It's a planter!  A planter that folks make by combining ingredients, mixing them up, putting them in a mold and then, after it's dry and mature, planting stuff in the planter.

It's easy. It's fun. It's like playing in the mud. The planters will last many years.

Last week I conned my granddaughter into making her first hypertufa planter. Well, actually she only made about half but she is only nine so I cut her a little slack and mixed up the stuff for her. Her job was to get her gloves all messy and decorate the edge with rocks.

This planter to the left was one of the first we built.  Actually the first we built is under this planter and we're using them for legs.  They are a bit on the small side once you calculate the walls of the "legs" are about 2 inches thick thus leaving a hole for the plants to be about 4 inches.  Way too small for the likes of these desert dwellers.

We don't call our hypertufa pots, pots.  We call them troughs because they look more like troughs than pots to us.  Seems reasonable don't you think?

The picture on the right is another hypertufa trough that you will be surprised to hear is sitting in a pile of rocks.  Never would have thought that would ya?  We placed the trough in the rocks because we couldn't think of a better place to put it.

Below is our granddaughters creation.  It is in the curing stage and won't be mature for at least a month. 

So how do I build a hypertufa creation of my own the lady with the red hair asked.  I'm so glad you asked.

First gather the pieces and parts you'll need.  Those are:

• 1 part Portland cement, 1 1/2 parts peat moss, 1 1/2 parts vermiculite.
• A container like a 5 gallon bucket to mix up the mud.
• Water... but not too much or too little.  Not soup but more like cake dough if your into cakes or engine sludge if your a backyard mechanic.
• Something to actually mix up the mud... I use a 1/2 inch drill with a stirring attachment, if you don't have that then get a brawny guy and a wheel barrow.
• A mold.  This could be a cardboard box lined with plastic or a wood mold you make yourself with a release agent on the wood so the mixture doesn't stick to the wood.  In the picture we used 2 cardboard boxes, the larger for the mud and the smaller for the planter.

Put it all together by mixing the mud and pouring it into the mold.  We poured the bottom and then placed the inner cardboard box on top of that and then poured in the rest of the mud around that box.

You want the walls and bottom to be thick enough so they don't break when being moved.  Experimenting is good but common sense is the best I can suggest.  If you make something really big and heavy it will need to be thicker than if it's just a dainty little thing.

We then cover the whole thing in plastic so it won't dry too fast.  The one pictured has been in the mold since Wednesday and I expect to leave it in the mold probably until a week from Monday (tomorrow).  When I cover it with plastic I don't make it real tight but let it breath a little so it will eventually dry.  I was told that having it dry slowly will make it much stronger... I don't know if they knew what they were talking about but I certainly don't, so I'm passing it on.

Once it's out of the mold just leave it sit outside in the weather for a while.  The cement has lime in it and if you plant something before the lime is gone or cured or what ever happens to it your plants will protest by playing dead only they won't be playing.

There are a number of places on the internet with variations to the above directions.  There is a plethora of different things you can make as well as examples of very ornate and complicated masterpieces.  There are also different recipes for the mud.  Some folks are really creative so do take a look before you jump into your first project.  There are books on how to do all this too.  Heck, even our local nursery has classes on hypertufa projects.

You'll find that the finished product, be it a rough trough or a dazzling masterpiece, is a great planter.  With the peat moss and vermiculite in the mix it will hold water and also still breath.  One of our first attempts at making a pot had walls that were a bit thin so the hold water thing didn't work very well but it's still around doing duty as a leg.

Give it a try... if you want, call me and I'll come over and help you the first time around.

Whoohoo!

Frick and Frack

I've decided to name this spitter, shown first in March of this year, Frick and Frack.  Frick, on left facing, reminds me of Kermit the Frog with some of his famous quotes jumping into my mind like: "Time's fun when your having flies."  Frack, on the other hand, is more of a joker and definitely not a worrier. 

The term Frick and Frack has taken on more of a meaning than just the "rolls off your tongue nice" name for a couple of performers.  Let me express it like this:  If you have only one person who is a real sap, he could be called a Bozo.  If you have three fatheads they could be called the Three Stooges.  With two goofballs who are best friends they can affectionately be called Frick and Frack (as in "The Odd Couple").

Frick and Frack were actually performers on ice who were famous for funny tricks and just great entertainment.  Frack had some moves on the ice that most can't duplicate today 70 +/- years later.  You can see a short clip of their show by clicking here. 

Welcome to the pond ya goof balls! 

Have you noticed the rock is wet... hmmmm

Whoohoo!

"Will you walk into my parlour?" said the Spider to the Fly.

Let me introduce the "Long-jawed Orb Weaver" spider.  This interesting spider made his home under the lid of the ponds skimmer.  They are NOT poisonous to man nor pet... but I wouldn't want to be an insect that blundered into it's nearly horizontal orb spun web.  This spider is not rare and found all over the northern hemisphere, however, I don't recall ever seeing one before.  They live near water and normally can be found on plants. 

This creature gets it's name because of their large chelicerae (fangs would be the technical term for chelicerae).  Some orb weavers have fangs longer than the front half of it's 2 part body (called a cephalothorax for you spider nerds).  They have 8 eyes and can walk on water.  They hatch from eggs and look like miniature adults.  As they grow they shed their skin.

They normally live for a season, hatching in the spring, mate at summers end, lay eggs and starting the whole process over in the spring.

The design on her back is interesting to me but I haven't found any information concerning which tattoo parlor was offering that piece of body art.

Since they eat mosquito's and other small insects they are automatically my friend.  So after taking the photograph I replaced the skimmer lid with Miss LJOW patiently tending her orb. 

The Spider and the Fly

    By: Mary Howitt

"Will you walk into my parlour?" said the Spider to the Fly,

"'Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy;

The way into my parlour is up a winding stair,

And I've a many curious things to show when you are there."

"Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "to ask me is in vain,

For who goes up your winding stair can ne'er come down again."

"I'm sure you must be weary, dear, with soaring up so high;

Will you rest upon my little bed?" said the Spider to the Fly.

"There are pretty curtains drawn around; the sheets are fine and thin,

And if you like to rest awhile, I'll snugly tuck you in!"

"Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "for I've often heard it said,

They never, never wake again, who sleep upon your bed!"

Said the cunning Spider to the Fly, " Dear friend what can I do,

To prove the warm affection I 've always felt for you?

I have within my pantry, good store of all that's nice;

I'm sure you're very welcome -- will you please to take a slice?"

"Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "kind Sir, that cannot be,

I've heard what's in your pantry, and I do not wish to see!"

"Sweet creature!" said the Spider, "you're witty and you're wise,

How handsome are your gauzy wings, how brilliant are your eyes!

I've a little looking-glass upon my parlour shelf,

If you'll step in one moment, dear, you shall behold yourself."

"I thank you, gentle sir," she said, "for what you 're pleased to say,

And bidding you good morning now, I'll call another day."

The Spider turned him round about, and went into his den,

For well he knew the silly Fly would soon come back again:

So he wove a subtle web, in a little corner sly,

And set his table ready, to dine upon the Fly.

Then he came out to his door again, and merrily did sing,

"Come hither, hither, pretty Fly, with the pearl and silver wing;

Your robes are green and purple -- there's a crest upon your head;

Your eyes are like the diamond bright, but mine are dull as lead!"

Alas, alas! how very soon this silly little Fly,

Hearing his wily, flattering words, came slowly flitting by;

With buzzing wings she hung aloft, then near and nearer drew,

Thinking only of her brilliant eyes, and green and purple hue --

Thinking only of her crested head -- poor foolish thing! At last,

Up jumped the cunning Spider, and fiercely held her fast.

He dragged her up his winding stair, into his dismal den,

Within his little parlour -- but she ne'er came out again!

And now dear little children, who may this story read,

To idle, silly flattering words, I pray you ne'er give heed:

Unto an evil counsellor, close heart and ear and eye,

And take a lesson from this tale, of the Spider and the Fly.

We have a front yard too.

Things are a little slow right now.  I've been just sit'n around waiting for the Woodhouse's Toads to arrive.  In fact, I'm starting to think they may be visiting their cousin Vinnie back east in place of coming to our inviting digs.

I was looking out the window this morning only it was our front yard for a change.  I thought it was looking pretty nice so I took a couple of pictures.  It was a challenge to get these pictures without getting the yard across the street in the photo as they apparently are auditioning for Desperate Landscapes as seen on TV.

I'm sorry to report that a lot of our flowers have been beat severely by the wind.  We've had high winds since last week and these poor beauties are tired of blow'n back and forth.  Thankfully today is the first day in quite a while with only a breeze.  I suppose if everyday was beautiful then we wouldn't appreciate these days near as much.

The Raven

I've often wondered what the difference was between a raven and a crow.  I've found that crows are smaller than ravens by about 4 to 6 inches depending on the species your comparing.  I've seen either the raven or crow flying around with smaller birds chasing and diving at the large black bird.  I now believe this large black bird to be a raven because of what I saw.

While driving home yesterday I noticed a single, large black bird that I believe is a raven in the highway medium.  The bird was surrounded by 20 to 30 smaller black birds about the size of starlings or common black birds.  Maybe a better way to describe them are about a quarter the size of the raven.  I slowed my truck to see what was going on.  I saw the raven fly into the air immediately followed by the smaller birds.  Then I saw something fall from the ravens mouth.  Holy cow, it was one of those smaller birds.  It fell the 20 or so feet to the ground like a rock.  The raven dipped and flew down to where it landed, picked it up and took off again, all the while being harassed by the other birds.  The raven didn't seem to care.

I haven't witnessed this behavior in all my years.  Surprised?  I was.  Now that I've had time to think about it I suppose I shouldn't be that surprised.  Think about why the smaller birds dive and harass this large predator/scavenger?  Yep, he eats their family members.

Why do I think this bird was a raven and not a crow?  According to my bird book the raven eats small animals.  The same book does not say that about the crow. 

So I thought I would share this event with my 2 blog regulars.  Not necessarily a backyard event or frog related but still interesting.

Whoohoo

He Even Believes What He Says!

The preceding post criticized the weather man for wishfully saying there were no more freezes this season.  I'm here today to report that he also planted his pepper plants and a few herbs within days of his prediction.  Within minutes, if not seconds, of planting the freeze descended on Grand Junction and his fragile plants were iced, zapped, done-in, 86ed, and just flat dead.

I tried to tell him when he said it.  I yelled at the TV... he wasn't listening.

Last night on the news he was showing off a present he received from a viewer... a freeze barrier called, "Wall of Water."  Ha!  A bit late don't ya think?

The moral here, it seems to me, is never say something is not going to happen when you aren't in control.  Or is it never say never?  I just can't keep up with myself.

BTW... we are now past any chance of freeze until the fall.

Very Scarry

Just when you thought it was safe to go out and this happens.  Tonight I was listening to the designated liar, the weather man, telling us all the freezing weather was behind us now until late fall.

What is wrong with that man.  He has just cursed us to hard freezes until the 4th of July or later!  The next time he even thinks about saying something like that someone had best get to him quick and slap his mouth shut.  We have toad batches to process and flowers to grow.  Not to even mention our tomato's and peppers. 

We are all doomed as sure as if the sun quit shinning.  Woe is me.  Woe is me.

Today We're Froze

To think it was 80 degrees just 3 days ago.  Next day the wind blew.  Yesterday the snow fell.  Today it's freezing the bejesus out of our plants.  Let's recap; wind blew, snow fell, winter is back and it's cold...

With the prediction of a hard freeze we didn't just lay on the floor doing the kicking and screaming tantrum thing.  We drained the irrigation lines, we hauled in potted plants, we covered what we couldn't move inside.  We were even creative in the covering arena as Ginger used the trash cans to cover the large pots that are too heavy to move.  If this cold spell doesn't get over itself pretty fast I'll have to buy more trash cans so we'll have a place for trash.

I hope the plants aren't put off by the social impact on their impressionable minds by being plunged into darkness by a smelly trash can.  I can hear the plant whining now... "Mommy, Mommy, it's dark in here and it smells tooooo."  Mommy Nature replies, "Shut up plant or I'll cover you with snow and burn you with freezing cold!"  Meekly the plant replies, "OK Mommy, I'll be quiet... but it does smell a little." 

Plants, you just can't make 'em happy.  The Lord knows we try.  But bust your buns day in and day out and all the plants do is complain... it's too dark... it's smelly in this trash can... there are bugs eating parts of me... ow, you stepped on me... you expect me to grow in THAT?... I'm thirsty... it just goes on and on and on.  I don't know how much longer we can keep this up.

Just the other day I had to give annual a good talking to.  That plant will never grow up to be like his brother perennial.  I swear annual is the runt of the litter and probably will only live to be a year old or so... just doesn't have what it takes to be like his big brother perennial.  And who gives you all the grief and costs you the most money?  Yep, it's annual every time.  If I had a nickle for every time annual whined about something I'd be a rich man today.  You don't hear much from perennial... that plant is a role model for the whole garden.

So where was I?  Oh yea, it froze last night.  The official forecast low temperature was shoot'n for 27 which would beat the record of 28 for this date and that record was set in 1909 as in 99 years ago today.  How 'bout that plant fans.  The big freeze didn't happen.  As I've said before, we call the weather man the designated liar.  The actual and now official low was 31.  As is usual, it was a bit warmer at our place as we live on a hill so the cold doesn't settle around our ankles it just slides on down the hill into the depths of the valley.  Our low temperature at Red Tail Ridge was a balmy 34. 

We aren't put out by the "unevent" as a hard freeze this late in the spring will devastate the local cherry, peach, apricot and pineapple crops. 

Maybe it will get down to 27 tonight so the designated liar can feel redeemed.  Nah!

Whoohoo

Today it Snow's

I was really being facetious when I suggested it might snow.   Well silly me.

Waking this morning to the sight of snow was a big surprise... not so much that it snowed but because the weatherman on TV predicted snow!  WOW... right once in a row!

The snow wasn't sticking to the rocks but the poor flowers and some of the new trees were not happy about this super wet spring snow.  The forecast for tomorrow morning is brrrr cold 27.  I'll be blowing out the sprinklers once again.  At least the wind has stopped... yep, I knew there was a pony in here somewhere.

Whoohoo

Today Blows!

It's another windy day in the Grand Valley.  In the video below I tired to catch the wind blowing the water around.  It doesn't show how hard the wind is actually blowing but if you close your eyes and watch the video, listen to the silence and imagine a wind storm blowing through an oasis in the desert while a herd of water buffalo stampede across the dunes you might, just might, get a feel for how hard the wind is blowing.

The wind is a precursor to the spring storm headed in from the Pacific coast. By Friday morning the low is forecast to be 27 degrees as it brrrr cold. The plants are going to be unhappy. Maybe we'll get snow!

Howdy! I'm from Dry Rock, Colorado

I am proud to report the number of fans of the Frog-Blog has doubled... I now have 2.  Both confirmed by comments.  I may actually have a 3rd fan but that person may have fat fingered this web address so I'll have to wait to see if they come back.  A one time read hardly counts as a fan.

Regardless of the number of fans, if it's 3 a majority of them have encouraged me to move on and leave poor Alejandro F. to deal with his privates business privately (for those of you from Lafayette, Colorado that means at least 2 fans want to move on).  I have taken their suggestions to heart and we are moving forward to other things.

Before I move to other topics that may just turn out to be interesting as well as exciting, leaving you with baited breath (frogs and toads love that smell) I've just one thing to say:

To quote our hero Alejandro F., "Howdy, I'm from Dry Rock, Colorado!"  I guess the radical hosectomy worked...

Lip~Lips... The Sign of Spring

There is no better sign of spring than when the lip-lips practically leap from the ground.  It is amazing how fast these colorful beauties appear and before you know it they are gone.  As the short lived lip-lip petals peel out from their buds it's like a call to the wind gods to crank-it-up.  When I was a youngster there used to be a saying about "March winds and April showers."  Where I'm living now that saying should read "March winds and April winds blow harder."  Each year some lip-lips lose their petals to the steely wind... a wind that would be called a gale or even a hurricane on the ocean shore.  So far the petals have hung on with only minor damage.  Since their days are numbered I thought I would share just a few pictures of the spring show-offs I call lip-lips.

Whoohoo!

Pot Trellis Replanted and Beautiful

I love it when a plan comes together.  When I built the pot trellis, my first and only so far, it was a complete success.  I introduced the pot trellis last year (click here to see that post).

 

 

We have also planted flowers, ground cover and various vines in the ground under the pot trellis.  The vines we hope will eventually grow and cover some of the yellow trellis but for some reason we have black thumbs when it comes to growing vines.  The flowers and ground cover will be a haven for this years batch of toads when they transition from legless toadlets to miniature clones of their parents.

I'm excited just thinking about it.

Stay tuned for some pictures of the lip-lips that are just beautiful too.

I hope my my friend Over-the-hill-Teri got around to building her pot trellis so we can compare.

Whoohoo!

Radical Hosectomy!Will it be the last of the season?

The "ectomy" to end all "ectomies" could have been the headline for this post.  The problem with doing that is one would then run the very real risk of having to eat their words of boast.  I'll tell you I like boast as good as the next guy but think the boasts taste better with butter or jam than with crow.

With luck, because skill obviously isn't present, Alejandro F. will once again have a dry rock to perch on while soaking in the rays before it's time for him to jump into action and fill the pond.  The latest "HOSEectomy" didn't last very long.  The hose split just like on previous occasions plus I'm getting a lot of practice in this arena.

I decided to give up on the F.S.P.M. and attack the problem using all the logic I could muster.  After a great deal of deliberation, forethought, circumspection and reflection I decided the hose had to go.  I believe if we keep messing with Alejandro F.'s SMAGSOT it too will wind up in the same trash bin as his BSTOT.

To this end I took the trek to the Lowe's Hosectomy Supply Store to find a replacement hose.  They didn't have what I wanted to I headed to Home Depot and they had just the thing, a black vinyl 3/8 ID hose and it was cheap too.  I bought it.

I'm happy to report this morning I performed the "radical hosectomy."  A new 10 foot length of hose, that is much more flexible than the previous tubing, has been implanted and clamped in place.  I believe the operation was a success since Alejandro F. didn't croak.

Of course it will take a few days of observation to confirm there are no leaks.

NICE JOB Dr. Watson!

Whoohoo...

Poor Alejandro F., He Lost His BSTOT!

It pains me to tell this story.

Our hero of the hour has again bared all for his third time on the now infamous "ECTOMY" table.  As reported a few days ago, Alejandro F. was once again leaking allover his rock.  It wasn't pretty to watch but bear in mind it wasn't his fault.  He couldn't control the way the hose was connected to his little sticky outie thingie. 

While I'm sure it bothered me much more than it bothered Alejandro F. I once again approached him from the rear to inspect the connection between his male part fitting into the female hose.  It didn't require an in-depth study to spot the problem.  The female hose part had split.  The hose had a slit right down the side allowing water to escape via that very same slit.

Since previous attempts to repair this problem using the tried and true "hosectomy" procedure, it was obvious that was not appropriate in this case.  Either Alejandro F.'s thingie was too big or the hose was too small. It's always something.  As mentioned in the previous post I was planning either a Modified Hosectomy or the much more drastic procedure, a Transplant.

After returning from the local Lowe's Hosectomy Supply Store with various couplings, reducers, brass fittings and various sized tubes I set about what I hoped was going to be the final and lasting repair to the now tender connection between Alejandro F.'s black stickie outie thingie (BSTOT) and the wayward hose that liked to split whenever the pressure was on.

After performing what has become the routine "hosectomy" I attached the various pieces and parts described above.  I slipped the new 1/2 inch hose over Alejandro F.'s BSTOT and slide the hose clamp into position.  I tightened the clamp.  And folks, this is the part I hate... this really hurts, Alejandro F.'s black male stickie outie thingie, his BSTOT I'm tell'n you, broke off his body?  OMG!  What have I done?  Just when I had invented a neat acronym.  Damn, I hate it when that happens.

Shown is the "ectomied" remains of Alejandro F.'s
BSTOT and the hose with split.

After having time to reflect, I realized that in one turn of the screwdriver I had moved from a modified hosectomy to a transplant.  I prefer to call it a circumcision or peritomy.  Heck, I didn't even know Alejandro F. was Jewish. 

Once his BSTOT was removed I then had a real Archimedes EUREKA moment.  The small greenish colored stickie outie thingie (SMAGSOT) that the BSTOT was glued to was exactly the right size of the hose prior to attaching all the various and sundry brass parts with reducers and couplings.

I set about removing all those recently assembled parts to restore the original hose to it's virgin state, so to speak.  Then I slipped the hose onto the SMAGSOT and it was a perfect fit.  Snug but not too tight... just the way I like it.

So Frog Blog Fans, once again I'm confident that Alejandro F. is repaired permanently and so far has performed his duties twice without leaking all over his rock.  It just doesn't get any better than this as I can now return my $8.80 purchase to Lowe's Hosectomy Supply Store for a full refund... oh yea, Alejandro is happy too.

Whoohoo!

A Couple of Old Friends Dropped In

It was May of 2009, as I recollect, when Daddy Duck and Mama Mallard first stopped by for a visit (posted here).  Their last visit, until now, was later in 2009 when I was cleaning out the skimmer pond, bent over and shoveling muck.  Just about the time I stood up was when they were about 10 feet from landing in Joe's Pond.  My sudden appearance scared the bejesus out of 'em and we never saw them again until just this morning.

They inspected the Bridge Pond, Joe's Pond and the Skimmer Pond before returning to the bridge pond for a refreshing bath and splash.  They took a leisurely swim around and then it was time to move on.

It was nice to renew an old aquantience... they were looking fit and ready for make'n more ducklings. 

If you recall (you have to read the blog to recall) it was this Mallard couple that prompted me to solve the age old question:  What came first, the duck or the egg.

Checking out the Skimmer Pond

Daddy Duck in Joe's Pond

Mama Mallard on Joe's Falls washing her feet (Warm hands, cold
heart, dirty feet, no sweetheart) ;-)

Just When You Thought It Was Safe

I am sorry to report that Alejandro F. hasn't seen the last of his "ectomies."  That's right ladies and gentlemen, the boy is leak'n all over his rock again.  For sure it isn't his fault but, none-the-less, that rock be very wet before Alejandro F. has just more than started his pond filling duties.

While I haven't decided on a specific remedy, it seems obvious that the basic hosectomy hasn't "cut it," so to speak.  I'm seriously considering a rather radical procedure this next time around. 

Can you say "transplant" boys and girls?  I'm thinking it's going to have to be something different than the twice tried hosectomy and the transplant was the first to come to mind.  Second thing on my mind is a modified hosectomy.

First the Modified Hosectomy (M.H.P.) idea:  This would be a procedure where I would take what I call a transition hose with a 1/2 inch inside diameter, insert that onto Alejandro F.'s sticky outie thing and then use a reducer to bridge the 1/2 inch diameter hose down to a 3/8 friendly connection which just happens to be the size of the plastic tubing. 

Of course the only issue I can think of that might be a show stopper for this procedure is the availability of the reducer.  I'm sure they make a size increaser from 3/8 to 1/2 inch but don't know if I can find a reducer from 1/2 inch to 3/8 inch.  You can be assured I will leave no stone unturned in my search for the reducer.

Now the Transplant Procedure idea:  The transplant procedure will require me to remove Alejandro F.'s sticky outie thing and a.) alter it to accept a 3/8 inch plastic tube or b.) replace it with a similar thingie that will work.  Not an elegant solution but one does not always know what options they will have to deliver an acceptable outcome.

I'll have to refer to the FSPM once again to see if the "modified hosectomy" is covered.  I expect I'll have to search the internet for a FSTPM (Frog Spitter Transplant Procedure Manual) if the M.H.P. reducer isn't available.

I'm currently on light duty as a result of some minor surgery to my hand so it will probably be a few days before anything of note happens.

Of course you can read about it in this very Frog Blog... soon. 

Whoohoo!

Proctologist vs. Urologist

In reference to the recent posts concerning Alejandro F.'s hosectomy; I've been told the type of doctor that takes care of prostate problems is a Urologist and not a Proctologist although I doubt if either would actually take on the disgusting job chronicled in these aforementioned posts.  I do believe the constructive criticism was accurate. 

I did take the time to re-educate myself on the area's of expertise in these areas of medicine.  Written in the sacred dictionary is the following:

Proctology:  The branch of medicine that deals with the diagnosis and treatment of disorders affecting the colon, rectum, and anus.

Urology: The branch of medicine that deals with the diagnosis and treatment of diseases of the urinary tract and urogenital system.

I guess the reason I got confused was the time I went to a Proctologist he put a thing called a sigmoidoscope right up there where the sun don't shine.  Then when I was at the Urologist I guess he couldn't find his sigmoidoscope so he just used his finger.  I can't imagine why I would get confused about who does what!  Heck, it's not like I can see what they're doing back there (thank my lucky stars).

So PLEASE accept my humble apology for using the wrong doctor to perform Alejandro F.'s hosectomy.  It wasn't intentional. 

Click for the: Proctologist Song         

By the way, the hosectomy and re-attachment procedure was a complete success.  Not a drop of water to be seen so far with 3 observation sessions to date.  I love it when a plan comes together.

De-hosed and Re-hosed

I was thinking that maybe Alejandro F. might appreciate a nickname.  Of course I'm anxious for input from my blog reader but just in case I don't get any suggestions I'll put forth one for consideration.  How does "Hoser" sound?

When I was a young and careless school kid calling someone Hoser could be considered a compliment or a put-down depending on who was saying it and the context the term referred.  Use your imagination if the use of the name doesn't just jump up and bit you in the... face.

Today was the hosectomy for Alejandro F.'s (aka Hoser) Andy Warhol moment.  There isn't a lot to say about the procedure as it is pretty straight forward.  Reminds me of when I went to the Samari Weight Loss Clinic and they asked, "How much you want lose?"  I told them and "WHACK," just like that I had lost 25 pounds... of course I've walked with a limp ever since.  Anyway, I studied the FSPM (Frog Spitter Proctologist's Manual) throughly until the wee hours of Saturday night.  I certainly don't want to this procedure to be required again as that would certainly cast dark shadows on the capabilities of the Frog Spitter Proctologist.

So with the following disclaimer I'll just present the pictures that are worth much more than a mere one-thousand words.

Disclaimer: Don't look Gertrude!  Oops, too late.

Prepped for surgery our patient rests peacefully in the
supine position.

The delicate portion of the hosectomy (in progress).

The hosectomy is almost complete.  Just the "stub" needs

to be removed and then re-hosing will commence.

Completely de-hosed Alejandro lies exposed.  Not to worry
though, he is not feeling a thing.

Just prior to the final step of re-hosing.  Note Alejandro

is now in the prone position so the hose will not be

kinked when rotated 180 degrees. 

The hosectomy and re-hosing procedures have now been
completed.  Once the sealant dries no one will be able to

tell that Alejandro has ever had a hosectomy.

With the hosectomy and re-hosing complete I can now turn my attentions to Easter Sunday.  I have hidden confetti eggs around the backyard in hopes that some kid will stop by to check if the Easter Bunny (still working... bong, bong, bong) left any eggs in our yard.  Wouldn't want to spoil anyones bunny beliefs.

The real fun about hiding Easter eggs is when you get old like my mind you can never find all of them.  Everyday is an Easter egg hunt.  Then of course there are the times I do find them all but just couldn't remember how many I hid.  Everyday is an Easter egg hunt.

Whoohoo!

Easter Hosectomy

Some might think it a terrible thing to do on Easter.  Of all the days one could select for a hosectomy, Easter could just possibly be the worst day of the year. 

I would have done it sooner but since my last post the rain as rained down.  The snow has snowed down.  The wind hasn't wound down... in fact we're still battling the tumble weeds that roll down the hill behind the subdivision.  It's been a "down" week... so to speak.

Easter will be the day for the hosectomy.  I just can't put it off any longer.  Probably the only thing that has kept the hose from rupture is I had to turn off the water to Alejandro F. for a few days because of freezing weather.

I have, however, secured some photos of Alejandro F.... well... take'n a leak.

Disclaimer: Once again viewer discretion is advised.  The following pictures are graphic and disgusting and contain pictures of Alejandro F.'s male part inserted into the soon to be ectomied female hose part.  Don't look at these pictures unless your a pervert.  If your a member of PETA you are forbidden to look at these graphic pictures.

Consider yourself warned!

If you look at the business end of Alejandro F. you will see water squirting out at odd
angles.  Note the wet stone and surrounding area... it isn't raining here folks.

Try to pull your eyes from Alejandro F.'s anatomy and take a look at the squirting water.  As you can clearly see
a hosectomy is definitely needed.  Plan B might be "depends" but I'm saving them for my near future!

This concludes the biology lesson for the day.  I will report back in this very blog the results of the hosectomy once I've had an opportunity to observe and see of any intervention is required (again!).

Whoohoo!

Alejandro F.'s Prostate is Making a Mess

As promised in the initial post about Alejandro F.'s prostate problem (click here to view) updates would be posted to this blog.  So here we are once again talking about that nasty prostate belonging to the once unknown spitter from Lowe's, Alejandro F.

I must apologize for taking so long to update everyone about this problem.  I know all of you have been on pins and needles.  While I take full responsibility for the delay I do have extenuating circumstances that were well within my physical control but apparently I wasn't up to the challenge mentally.

Of course I could blame the string algae but that seems so petty.  I'll just say if it wasn't for the string algae we would have been aware of Alejandro F.'s problem a lot sooner. 

Here is what happened:  Following Alejandro's hosectomy and reinsertion of the male receptacle into the female hose I didn't have an opportunity to actually see Alejandro doing what he was designed to do; that is, fill the pond. 

I was so enthused about being outside and the fair weather I decided I should also try to poison the string algae.  I wanted to do this before the spring pond creatures arrived because I hate poisoning the pond creatures.  So I blocked the overflow and pulled the plug on the pump.  After the water settled in each pond I added the carefully measured amount of Cutrine Algaecide to the bridge pond.  It wasn't until the next evening that I re-plugged the pump. 

Fast forward a couple of days.  The pond is starting to look like it's getting low in the water arena.  By the next day I'm sure there is something wrong with Alejandro F. 

I grabbed my kneeling pad and started to troubleshoot the lack of spit going into the pond.  I checked the hose and all connections to the valves... nothing.  Checked the breaker for the power... OK.  Then I checked the controller and saw that the display was blank!  I was sure the controller had died.  I decided to pull it out and order a new one and when I went to unplug it I found the problem... yep, it was unplugged.  Tsk, Tsk, Tsk 'ol Proctologist wannabe.  Ya know, sometimes it's the simplest things that slip under the radar.  I must have accidentally pulled the plug when I unplugged the pump.

So with Alejandro powered up I noticed that evening, while we were eating dinner, that he was working diligently at filling the pond... I didn't, however, look to see if he was leaking.... after all I was feed'n my face... a man has his priorities you know.

I'm somewhat ashamed to admit that it was at least a couple of days later when I noticed that when Alejandro F. was "working" he was also leaving an even bigger puddle than he was prior to his initial hosectomy.

I can tell you the problem appears to be a severe case of holey hose where it connects to Alejandro F.'s sticky-outie hose inserter deal.  Must have used a little bit too much heat.

So as soon as I return from the Tea Party Rally tomorrow I'll get right on the hosectomy... unless it rains or I forget.

Stay tuned... You'll hear about it at this very blog.

First Alajandro F. and Now the Bio-falls

I guess the title of this post is not accurate cuz Alajandro hasn't been around long enough to unpack his bags and the bio-falls has been here for over 5 years. In any case, they do have something in common. It's "drip... drip... drip..."

Of course this isn't a prostate problem as everyone knows that bio-falls, like hoses, don't have prostates. What the bio-falls has is a leak! This isn't just a run of the mill leak one might find in the bathroom sink... this leak is invisible and camouflaged. A navy seal or an army delta-force commando couldn't be better camouflaged than my bio-fall leak. 

This leak was, in my opinion, one of the worst kind to have. It dripped about 4 or 5 drops a second from 3 locations and all this was taking place behind rocks over a gravel bed, thus there was no tale-tale sign of water. 3X4 drops per second equates to around 1,036,800 drip drops per day (I can't make up my mind if they are drips or drops). There are about 15,400 drops in a gallon of water. Do the math and you have a leak that has wasted a bunch of water over the past 5 years.

So how did you come to find this gusher incognito, he asked?

Now that was a very, very astute question if I do say so myself. The answer, as most of the things I write about, isn't one of those pithy types of answers. Here goes:

I bought a new spitter. 

Having a new spitter requires one to plumb pressurized water to the spitter to enable the spitter to spit.  The closest pressurized water to the location of the spitter was the bio-falls.

It was a simple task to dig down to the water pipe that runs between the bio-falls and the pump, tap into the PVC pipe and run a hose from the tap to the spitter.

I did just that.  I dug down exposing the 2 inch pipe, cut it in half and glued in the "T" splice.  I then realized in order to get the pipe into the top of the "T" I would have to lift it up about 2 inches.  That wasn't a big deal I thought, so I removed a couple of flat stones that were hiding the pipe, lifted it and smeared on the glue and popped it into the "T"... easy. 

Then I noticed one of the stones was loose.  I wiggled it like a kid with a loose tooth and it fell onto the ground and then the stones above it fell onto the ground and then I saw the water dripping.  My immediate reaction was to dismiss the possibility of a leak and reasoned (rationalized) the water was from the recent rain.

Bio-falls viewed from the back.  Showing sight of the cave-in and special
rock to stop the dreaded flood of over 1 million drops of water/day.

I went to lunch.

After lunch I brought the boss out to take a look at my discovery.  Her message was short and to the point.  She said, "Humph, it's a leak," and left me to figure out the rest.

The first thing I did was stop the water from leaking.  To that end you will notice a stone stuck into the right corner of the bio-falls.  It's purpose is to hold the liner in an upright position and thus not allow the water to drip over the edge.  I'm of the opinion that the bio-falls has settled a bit in this corner allowing the water to rise too close to the edge.

Having to admit that it was in fact a leak I then felt it was just prudent to remove some more stones from around the top of the bio-falls to insure there were no other surprises. Of course there were no other leaks but if I hadn't checked you can bet there would have been.  Grok?

I've found in my travels, my trials and tribulations, many of my life experiences that it's a lot easier to take things apart than to put them together.  I am now left with the task of re-camouflaging the bio-falls.  Armed with yucky pucky, gloves and the frontier spirit I will persevere and make things one again... even better than original!  You can take that to the bank.

I'll report the outcome of this project in future posts.

Look! Up In The Sky! It's a Bird...

I should change the name of my street to Swooping Hawk.  Yesterday was, for the birds in the yard, like sailing on a sailboat.  Long periods of lackadaisical repose followed by intense periods of activity sometimes bordering on panic... sometimes?

I was sitting at my computer but really day-dreaming as I stared out the window.  Then all of the birds (I mean every last one) took flight and were going helter skelter (did you know the Beatles did a song named Helter Skelter back in 1968?).  Then, just seconds behind the panic-stricken exodus came a hawk diving from aloft at high speed.  He was moving fast!  The hawk was headed toward the ground at about a 60 degree angle, swooping near the ground in what appeared to me as in pursuit of a target i.e. breakfast.  One might wonder how his wings stay attached with such speed and steep turns.

A theme I've repeated a number of times in this blog:  Things happen so fast if your not lucky to be looking in the right direction you will miss the whole thing.  This event happened in less than 2 seconds from beginning to when the hawk was out of sight.

About an hour later the birds had returned.  Suddenly the panic and helter skelter exodus began anew followed by the hawk diving toward either breakfast or dessert.  Again it was over in a few seconds.

Following lunch the hawk was observed swooping down with repetitive panic ensuing.  This time he was here long enough to circle a tree in hot pursuit of a small sparrow like bird.

We still have not observed any of the hawks actually taking any prey.  From my perspective it would appear Joe was better at bird catching than the hawks we've seen.  I believe the hawks make a lot more visits than we've see and their hunt must be successful at times or they wouldn't be around.

These birds are magnificent.

This is NOT a picture from my backyard but it sure is a cool picture.

Alejandro F. Appears to Have a Prostate Problem!

One wouldn't think a spitter would not even have a prostate!  For a resin spitter in the form of a frog I would have thought it impossible.  Thus I was just dumbfounded yesterday when I happened to observe Alejandro F. doing his noon time duty... topping-off the pond water level.  Drip... Drip... Drip...  The frog is leaking!

The good news is he only leaks when performing the duties of a spitter.  The bad news is: I had to call in the Frog Spitter Proctologist... that would be me**.  It isn't a glamorous job nor is it one that many would admit even having.  Since losing all self esteem during my 30 years with IBM I am not shy about admitting to this thankless, unpleasant job.

I suppose I should insert the overused disclaimer here:  This blog may contain subject matter that some viewers may find disgusting and thus very interesting.  Viewer discretion is advised.

So I removed the 3/8 inch hose that had been inserted in Alejandro F.'s rear.  I observed that this immediately stopped his prostate from... well, leaking.  My immediate thought was the 3/8 inch hose has a prostate problem but of course this was foolish as everyone knows hoses don't have prostates.

Upon close examination of the point of contact where the hose connects to Alejandro F.'s rear I determined the male part of the connection did not fit completely into the female part of the hose.  While it first appeared to be a tight connection once the flow through the hose got up to pressure it was obvious that once again a spitter was not handling the pressure appropriately (see the post on Alejandro T. exploding under pressure: here).

I referred to my FSPM (Frog Spitter Proctologist's Manual) and after considerable research determined a hosectomy was necessary.  I secured my utility knife and executed the "ectomy" on the hose by cutting off about an inch.  Then I needed to apply the output of a device to increase the molecular activity of the hose via an incremental increase in the ambient temperature on the bitter end of that very same hose, i.e. I broke out my heat gun and warmed the hose.

With the hose appropriately warmed it slipped easily over the male receptacle of Alejandro F.  Funny how things appropriately warmed will sometimes do that don't you think?

Of course it's a bit early to call the operation a success.  According to the FSPM a sufficient amount of time must be given for observation and, if necessary, intervention before the operation is deemed a success.

If any intervention is necessary you will be able to read about it in this very blog... whoohoo!

** Have you noticed every time you call yourself you get a busy signal... well almost.  I happen to have call waiting so when I call myself I click the button thingy and try to connect to myself but of course I'm not there because I was just put on hold when I clicked the button thingy.  Kinda one of those catch 22 deals.  Can you hear me now?

Alejandro F. replaces Alejandro T.

What a difference 5 days can make.  On Monday it was raining and then snowing and here it is Saturday, the sun is shinning and the thermometer is reading 60... more or less.  So being all enthused about a little warm weather we went to Lowe's to see if they were having a little spring in their garden department.  They weren't.... the 'ol fuddy-duddy's.  I did, however, spy a spitter sitting on a shelf in a corner where it obviously spent the winter.  I needed a spitter to replace Alejandro T (as in turtle) so without any delay I snatched the spitter.  Still being enthused about the warm weather I hooked the new guy up and without hesitation I turned

on the water and set the sprinkler controller to manual... lo and behold he spits. 

Well WhooHoo boys and girls... that's what was supposed to happen!

Our newest addition to the backyard has been named Alejandro F (can ya guess what the F stands for?).

Like Alejandro T, he will "spit" 3 times a day to keep the pond water level at the prescribed setting. 

Our first event of the 2010 season is in the books.  I hope it's an exciting year. 

Thanks for stopping by...